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Good sex is not an accident: it happens deliberately. In this dual-hosted episode of How to Be an Adult with Luke and Kate, we strip away the cultural noise to look at the reality of physical intimacy. We break down what it actually means to be present with another person and how to engage in the unapologetic, shameless exchange of mutual pleasure:
- We define good sex as a mutually pleasurable, safe, and relaxing activity that aligns physical, emotional and mental wellness, characterized by mutual validation rather than performance.
- We emphasize that sex should be fun, not stressful, and that adults have the moral authority to move past shame or guilt that is rooted in one’s upbringing or societal expectations.
- Communication is the cornerstone of healthy sexual experiences; partners should explicitly discuss their desires, boundaries, and preferences to ensure mutual enjoyment.
- The ultimate authority in the bedroom belongs solely to the partners involved, overriding outside influences like religious figures, parents, or generalized media advice.
- We advise approaching sex as a five-sense experience, similar to a gourmet meal, to stay present in the moment and avoid disembodied, anxious thoughts.
- Consent must be ongoing and should be enthusiastic; the hosts advocate for a risk-aware approach to kink, noting that activities like bondage or impact play require higher levels of communication and safety planning.
- The podcast warns against relying on pornographic depictions, which are often inauthentic and performative, instead encouraging individuals to cultivate self-love and self-respect to engage in genuine, reciprocal intimacy.
- The hosts encourage listeners to treat themselves with unconditional acceptance, similar to how infants are cared for, to break generational cycles of shame and fully embrace their natural, primal desires.
Table of Contents:
00:00 – Beginning
02:37 – What is Good Sex?
04:43 – Approaching Sex as an Adult
07:04 – Your Self-Authority
14:38 – Love Yourself First
22:04 – A Place to Be in Your Nature
23:43 – A Five Sense Experience
28:38 – How to Make Consent Sexy
34:35 – “Performance”
39:30 – Setting Boundaries
40:57 – Kink
45:23 – Outro
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Luke Chao is the host of the How to Be an Adult podcast. Possessing of a philosophical approach to life, he is keenly interested in improving the society they live in. In this podcast, he shares his thoughts freely in order to democratize high-quality living.