Your Place in the World (Ep. 3)

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In this episode, Luke and Pascal speak about how to relate to other human beings as an adult, and more generally, your place in the world. We start by speaking about the importance of approaching other people with a metaphorical cup that’s full or running over. We also discuss the importance of truth, boundary-setting as an expression of morality, human nature as fundamentally pro-social, relationships as a positive-sum pursuit and social media being anything but that:

• Love, respect, esteem are important needs for adults but are often not recognized as such. Filling one’s own “cup” with self-love and acceptance is important for well-being.
• Adulthood brings the responsibility to make meaningful choices through voting and civic participation. Most democracies designate 18 as the age of majority.
• As adults, we are responsible for setting our own boundaries and saying “no” when needed from a place of moral principle rather than to be disagreeable.
• Self-esteem allows one to acknowledge mistakes without “crumbling” due to shame. It provides stability and security.
• Relationships are most fulfilling when both parties contribute love and esteem. Being alone may be better than a relationship where no one does the loving.
• Social media presents an unrealistic highlights reel and encourages unhelpful comparisons to others’ curated profiles.
• Adults don’t need to wait until being “perfect” to feel worthy of respect at the grown-up table. Personal development is ongoing.
• Childhood experiences may not provide the perspectives needed for happy, peaceful adulthood; new learning is important.
• Honest, truthful speech from friends can help by calling out one’s “BS” in a caring way.
• No one is defined by their worst moments or times of weakness if they have self-esteem filling their “cup.” Humans are complex and imperfect.

Table of contents:

00:00 – Intro
01:01 – As an adult, treat yourself as an equal to others- you have a seat at the adult table
04:35 – What is your place in the world- approach others with a cup that’s already full
14:22 – Value your word, and honest even when it’s hard
21:34 – Setting and enforcing your own boundaries
25:18 – You are not responsible for the decisions of other adults
27:10 – Prefer pro-social norms to anti-social norms
29:20 – Only pursue relationships where you’ve doubled the love in two people’s lives by being in it
30:24 – Only make apples-to-apples comparisons, if you have to compare yourself to others at all
35:43 – Outro

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